Be free to live the life you are dreaming of!

9 April 2016
Apr 9th, 2016


"happyness" Scotland, Mull, 2015, Nella Fragola

“happyness” Scotland, Mull, 2015, Nella Fragola


tea time and write


Seated at my favorite table, a smoking hot tea in my hand, just as each and every of my daily meetings on the tea room, I listen against my will, tothe discussion between two women, right behind me. I’m here daily to write and not to stalk on people, I swear ! But today, I really struggle to concentrate on my script. What troubles me here, as I arrived long before the two yound ladies, and thus for half an hour, the conversation always  comes back to the same subject : the critic of the Other. The Other (yes, with a big A), is , of course, not présent. The Othe ris indeed a few people : sometimes a man, sometimes a woman. But they all have something in common in their eyes : they are terribly imperfect.

Here I am, for one hour, listening to them listing these Others defects and choices. I’m surprised to hear how much people can judge, in our stead, what is good or not for us.

« She does not work enough. She could do better than that. »
« He is almost 30 and does not know yet what he wants to do with his life. »
« No, really, did you notice ? she wants to do what she wants but she does not get she has to earn money. »
« Ah of course, he wants to have a job he likes, isn’t he dreaming ? »
« Why did she put this picture on her website’s page ? »
« Don’t you think she is messing up by choosing this way ? »
« I don’t get it, why choosing her family life, when she had such an amazing job ? »


I’m tired for them. Isn’t it tiresome, to list in such a way all the things which look imperfect in our eyes, in other people’s life, when it’s so difficult to deal with your own life ?

In the end, what hit me, I identified myself with the Other ; and I just could imagine the number of people who when I’m not here, list my deffects, criticize my choices, flay my lifestyle. Because I choose to lead a very different way. Because I refused to be trapped in a 35 hours job where I wither away. Because I enjoy to take the time to live, slowly, even if I just earn a meager income. Very few money but so much time for myself, for life, MY life. Few money, but a much richer life, much more than the time where I was earning the triple of what i earn now. I’m happy with my choices. Happy to buy clothing on rare occasion, but to buy quality and durability. Proud  to keep educating myself daily, and having the goal to do so until the twilight of my death, even though I went over the « University Era ».

Satisfied to go twice a year in a Michelin starred restaurant, rather than going once a week to the local bistrot. The work I accomplish gives me a sense of fullfillment daily, for myself, because I want it, even though at the moment it is not really lucrative.

The-X-FILES-I-want-to-believe-poster-form-fandomaniaA friend of mine made a very different choice for her life : She choose Financial comfort for herself and her family. She is happy, strong and inspiring. She loves her job and does it well. Some of my friends, on the other hand, dream but confine themselves to the soul destroying  daily routine of «transport-job-sleep », because going out of the social lineage is grueling and scary. Because they are scared of critics. Scared to fail. Scared of deficiently, in a world where we over consume.

This is the very same fear which paralyzed me for so long, and made me back off so many times. And today, I took the big jump without a parachute, because realizing your dreams is taking all the risks to succeed, with a risk to fail.

But failing is not that bad, it’s just an extra obstacle towards success. My grandad always said, « If you don’t fail, you will never succeed. Because if you never fail, you don’t even try. ». And just as Master Yoda resumes it perfectly : « Do or do not. There is no try. ».

Let’s not settle anymore with trying. We have one life only. So let’s live it as we are dreaming about it.